sábado, dezembro 31, 2005

Isto é uma praga!

Isto é inacreditável. Fui eu muito contente almoçar com os meus pais à praia das maçãs, todo contente com as férias, a aproveitar estes dias para não pensar em AFA, quando eu vou para comer um pãozito com manteiga e me deparo com RENY PICOT! Isto tornou-se uma praga. Já não bastava ter de gramar com ela na academia, agora também no "mundo esxterior"...

sexta-feira, dezembro 30, 2005

I want to be a fighter pilot

Malta, encontrei isto na net, e talvez alguns já conheçam...
Leiam até ao fim, que vale a pena!

I Want to be a Fighter Pilot

To LtCol Ventura, Sir I am DJ Baker and I would appreciate it if you could tell me what it takes to be an F16 fighter pilot of the USAF. What classes should I take in high school to help the career I want to take later in my life. What could I do to get in the academy.

From: Lt Col Ventura
Dear DJ, Obviously, through no fault of your own, your young, impressionable brain has been poisoned by the superfluous, hyped-up, "Top Gun" media portrayal of fighter pilots. Unfortunately, this portrayal could not be further from the truth. In my experience, I've found most fighter pilots pompous, back-stabbing, momma's boys with inferiority complexes, as well as being extremely over-rated aeronautically. However, rather than dash your budding dreams of becoming an USAF pilot, I offer the following alternative. What you REALLY want to aspire to is the exciting, challenging, and rewarding world of TACTICAL AIRLIFT. And this, young DJ, means one thing - the venerable, workhorse C-130! I can guarantee no fighter pilot can brag that he has led a 12-ship formation down a valley at 300 ft above the ground, while trying to interpret a 9-line to a new DZ, avoiding pop-up threats, and coordinating with AWACS, all while eating a box lunch, with the engineer in the back taking a piss and the navigator puking in his trash can! I tell you, DJ, TAC Airlift is where it's at. Where else is it legal to throw tanks, HMMWVs, and other crap out the back of an airplane, and not even worry about it when the chute doesn't open and it torpedos the General's staff car! No where else can you land on a 3000' dirt strip, kick a bunch of ammo and stuff off the ramp without even stopping, then take off again before range control can call to tell you you've landed on the wrong LZ! And talk about exotic travel-when C-130s go somewhere, they GO somewhere (usually for 3 months, unfortunately). This gives you the opportunity to immerse yourself in the culture enough to give any local population a bad taste in their mouths, not something those strat-lift pilots can do from their airport hotel rooms! As far as recommendations for your course of study, I offer these. Take a lot of math courses. You will need all the advanced math skills you can muster to facilitate the calculation of per diem rates around the world, and when trying to split up the crew's bar tab so that the co-pilot really believes he owes 85% of the whole thing. Health sciences are important, too. You will need a thorough knowledge of biology to make those educated guesses of how much longer you can drink beer before the tremendous case of the shits catches up to you from that meal you ate at that place that had the belly dancers in some God-forsaken foreign country whose name you can't even pronounce! Social studies are also beneficial. It is important for a good TAC Airlifter to have the cultural knowledge to be able to ascertain the exact location of the nearest titty bar in any country in the world, then be able to convince the local authorities to release the loadmaster after he offends every sensibility of the local religion and culture. A foreign language is helpful, but not required. You will never be able to pronounce the names of the NAVAIDs in France, and it's much easier to ignore them and go where you want to anyway. A study of geography is also paramount. You will need to know the basic location of all the places you've been when you get back from your TDY and are ready to stick those little pins in that huge world map you've got taped to you living room wall, right next to that gigantic wooden giraffe statue and beer stein collection. Well, DJ, I hope this little note inspires you. And by the way, forget about that Academy thing. All TAC Airlifters know that there are waaay too few women and too little alcohol there to provide a well-balanced education. A nice, big state college would be a much better choice. Good luck and see you on the SKE scope!

segunda-feira, dezembro 19, 2005

Feliz Natal para todos!

Pois é pessoal, o Natal está aí à porta. Como tal, gostaria de desejar a todos um feliz Natal e umas boas entradas.

Eu devia era ter arranjado uma ajudante destas para o predalho, mas eu não tenho o mesmo jeito com as mulheres que o Flopes tem... :) Quem estava lá sabe do que é que eu estou a falar. Foi muito bom. Temos de repetir a dose um dia destes. Boas férias!

Mal sabíamos nós...

Lembram-se desta, pessoal? Olhem só para a nossa felicidade, mal sabíamos o que nos aguardava - ver o euro 2004 na academia, por exemplo. E também muita piscina, muito estudo, muita AFA...
Apesar de tudo até nos divertimos, ou não?

sábado, dezembro 10, 2005

Ainda dava para mais um...

Agora que está frio e a malta anda toda metida nos quartos a aquecer a cama, dá vontade que venha novamente o Verão para que haja mais destes momentos!

sexta-feira, dezembro 02, 2005

Memórias da PAM...

Andava a ver umas fotos antigas e dei de caras com estas duas preciosidades:
O porquê de tantos risos à volta do computador, por parte dos instrutores, nos intervalos das nossas aulas teóricas e um daqueles momentos de prazer físico com aquela figura mítica que é o Ten. Estevão
Para mais tarde recordar...

quinta-feira, dezembro 01, 2005


Havia muita gente a pensar: "como é que se sobe lá pra cima?".Pois é, só mesmo na Escola Prática dos Fuzos. Acho que foi aí que um instrutor fuzileiro disse: "como podem ver, O BURACO TEM POUCA AMPLITUDE."